baby showers bring new understanding
by Younger Dr. Grey
Summary: pre-show, Charley missed Darla's baby shower, and Ralph Angel didn't handle that so well.


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 **written for** day 3 of 30 x 31, **prompt** : line from a song on shuffle - (I forgot the actual song lyric and the song, but a song about living your dreams played at work, and it turned into this and another Charley+RA scene)

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Charley's always had a bit of a blind spot for Ralph Angel. She can admit it. Out of everybody in the family, Ra was her main ally when she came down for the summers. He'd follow her around, and they used to play this restaurant game. What happened wasn't too hard. Ralph Angel was a farmer who brought all of his food to the restaurant so they could feed all the stuffed animals and action figures in the house. And Charley was the manager and chef. She took in all the stuff and gave him a receipt for it, and then she made the food to keep them all happy. They usually played in the kitchen, or on the front porch, and they played this same game for hours. Usually until Charley found another way to distract him. But it was their game, just theirs.

But not too long after that game came a whole lot of nothing for the two of them. Years of scarce interaction and crossing paths when they could. Charley stopped having as much time as she used to, so phone calls to Ralph Angel couldn't happen often. Then she went to college, and she barely had enough time between her classes, Davis' games, and eventually having Micah that she mostly only talked to Ernest. She brought Micah down when she could, a few trips here and there, and Ralph Angel did get an invite to the championship game, but he hadn't been able to come. Now Charley will gladly take the blame for not actively seeking out her little brother, but she won't be disrespected for having a life of her own.

She won't be discounted and disregarded because she has a family aside from the larger one. Ralph Angel used to expect her to drop everything for him. Like, when Darla first got pregnant with Blue, Ralph Angel texted and called Charley once a week for two months to make sure she could go to the baby shower. And she said she could go, even bought her tickets, but when the time came, she had to cancel for a photoshoot.

"A photoshoot?" Ernest had repeated. He'd managed to stifle a scoff, but Charley could hear his head shaking from across the country. Could feel the way his disappointment settled in the middle of his chest while he pushed at the spot right under his eyebrows.

"Yes, Daddy, this was the only day that we could get in with the photographer. Me, Davis, and Micah, for a family spread in Essence." But it never mattered how big of a deal something was to Charley, not when the rest of the family was concerned. "It doesn't matter anyway. We couldn't go. Micah got sick."

"He okay?"

Charley didn't really need to look to know. She'd spent the whole day sitting in the bathroom with him while he dry-heaved. Giving him little drinks of water and Pediasure, and wiping the sweat from his face. He'd just managed to sleep, so that gave her enough time to lean against the bannister across from his room, call down to Louisiana, and try to make things right. "He's resting. He must have one of those twenty-four hour bugs, but it's... He can't keep anything down. Can't stop shaking. I hope it's a quick one because we do not have the time to be at the doctor all day. He has that presentation on Monday."

Ernest laughed. "His heroes."

Charley hummed. "He won't let any of us see it. I don't think we made the cut."

Before Ernest could say anything else, though, Ralph Angel's voice came through. "Who's that?" Ra asked.

"Your sister. Charley." Ernest must've held out the phone because Ralph Angel's grunt came through a lot louder than it needed to. "Go on. Talk to her."

"About what?" Ralph Angel snatched the phone anyway. It bumped against something - a watch, maybe - then he clicked his tongue. "Heya, Charley. Have a good day today?"

She could've lied. Could've tried to find a way to calm him immediately, but honestly, she'd spent the whole day watching her son, completely helpless. And that's with the texts and calls she kept getting from him and from Aunt Vi and everyone else who decided to let her know just how much she'd messed up by not being there for him.

"No. Today's been just awful. But, it's not about me today. Is it?"

"You sure about that?" Ralph Angel had a way of lacing every word with venom when he wanted to. Left them sagging under the weight of his own anger. "'Cause I thought today could be about Darla. You know, the woman I love, the kid we're bringing into this world, but since you're out here having photoshoots-"

"We didn't go to the photoshoot, Ralph Angel."

"So you didn't come here for nothing?"

"I didn't go there because Micah is sick, Ra. You remember Micah, don't you?" She shouldn't dig back at him, but honestly, after the gifts she'd sent, she still should've been getting praised on this phone call. Did he think any of that was cheap?

"Hard to remember someone you don't see but once a year."

"We were coming down," she said.

"And then you didn't. Same story, same ending, every time. I don't know why -" One of the keys on the phone beeped. He had to stop strangling technology every time he got upset. He'd never had to learn how to properly handle his emotions. Not with everyone catering to his every need all the time. "Darla wanted to meet you, Charley. It wasn't even just about me. Darla's putting on a brave face, but she's scared to do this. And I told her about you, having Micah when you were still getting your degree. And she just wanted to talk to a young mom that was doing it right. But you couldn't do that. Could you?"

Doing it right? There was no such thing as doing parenting right. No matter what, parents messed up their kids, and kids just became who they were going to be. Either parents were too loving, or too distant, or they sheltered their kids, or they let them run wild, or they had too many, or only had one and that one didn't know what it was like to be a part of something in the way that other kids with siblings did. There was literally no way to be a perfect parent. If that's what he and the whole of the fucking world expected from her, then they would just have to take a number and keep on complaining.

Charley raked her hands down her cheeks. Pushed up her glasses and brought the phone back to her ear. "Well, I can talk to her now. Just put her on and-"

"She's sleeping."

"Fine. Ra, if you're gonna snap at me, then I can call back another time."

"And when will that be? When can you pencil me in?"

"And I thought Nova was the bitter one." She pinched her eyes shut the second she said it. "I didn't mean that."

"It's fine," which meant he didn't believe her. "I'll leave Darla your number. She can call when she wakes up."

"Alright. I'll be up." Then, because she couldn't help herself, she asked, "Did you get my gifts?"

A bit of that bitterness subsided. "There's like a million diapers, Charley."

She chuckled. "I ordered as much as I could. Kids go through 'em quick. And you should use the genie so you don't have to feel like you're living in the diaper yourself. And Daddy said you didn't have a carseat yet, so that one should be the best on the market right now. It's an updated one of the one we used for Micah. And you just let me know once he needs a booster seat, and I'll send you one of those too."

A rustle on his end. Maybe a nod? A slow one. Then a gush of air like he'd pushed everything out of him. "That's - we been wondering about the seats. And the strollers-"

"I don't know how the ground is out there, but that seat can click into a stroller. Tell me what kind of wheels you need, and you'll have them."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to." She let herself slide down to the ground instead of standing. "Ralph Angel, I don't mean to disappear like this. I've just got a whole life out here that never stops moving. Not even for a second. So, forgive me if all I can offer right now is a call and a lot of gifts that I know would hurt to buy all on your own. I can help. Let me."

"We'll pay you back."

She shook her head, not that he could see. "Just send him this way once he's potty trained. We can go to Disneyland and I can officially be the coolest aunt ever."

"Nova'll fight you on that one."

Charley laughed, but honestly, Nova would win. Couldn't fight the artsy one for street cred. "She can try." They lapsed into silence after that. Not much either could say. Charley watched Micah flip in his bed. He had every blanket on, and she was sure he was still shaking under them.

"Charley?"

"Hm?"

"I didn't have to yell at you."

"No. You didn't."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks. Sorry I couldn't make it out there."

"Vi said we had too many people here anyway." Ralph Angel laughed. "She didn't have enough to feed everybody. Sent me out to get more wings."

"Davis got sent for cheesecake at mine." And he'd come back with some from Cheesecake Factory, so the fact that it took him an hour to return was quickly forgiven. "Perks of being a dad."

"Still can't really believe that. Me. A dad. I'm barely..." He sighed. "That feeling goes away, right? That you got no idea what you're doing?"

"Kinda. But not really. You're always just trying to keep up. But the longer you do it, the easier it gets to at least jog alongside them."

"Thank you, Charley."

"Any time."


End file.
